Today has been mentally exhausting, I thought to myself as I swiveled around in my chair. The view from my second floor office window was of another building. If I wanted to see the street below, I would have to go over to the window and look down. I really didn’t think about the window very often. My work kept me quite busy; who has time to stare out a window?
I found myself doing just that…staring out the window. The window that I took for granted. Curious, I stood up from my very familiar chair, walked over to the window and looked down. The street below was teeming with activity. I could see everything from cars driving faster than the allowed speed limit, to business people walking and talking about the days events. But then I noticed something beyond all the hustle and bustle.
As I stood in front of the neglected window, that now had my full attention, I saw a young girl. She was sitting against the wall in a dark hallway, alone and crying. I couldn’t tell if these were tears of pain or fear, because she was so far away. My gut told me she was scared and I strained my ears trying to hear her. With tunnel vision, I could see nothing outside the window but that girl.
Just as quickly as I saw the child, she was gone and replaced by a teenage girl. The room seemed darker this time, but I could see the girl a little better than the first. Alone again, she was sitting with her knees drawn to her chest. She was hurting. Silent tears ran down her face. I could almost feel the hurt and I was worried for her.
There was a small reprieve in the scene change this time, but now I saw a woman. She was quite a bit older than the previous. She was in a much darker place.
All at once, I felt dizzy; everything was moving too fast.
My body was shaking and my heart was pounding so hard I felt it would burst inside my chest.
I couldn’t catch my breath and my mouth was dry.
My head was splitting and I felt sick.
Was I falling? Was I having a heart attack? Why can’t I breathe?
P A N I C !
Everything stopped. I felt sweat run down my back and tears roll down my face as I tried to slow my breathing.
Then I realized…
She was me.